When it comes to baking homemade biscuits, a lot of things can go wrong. Trust me, I know.
A finished interior that is too airy or too dense. A pale top that is lacking that beautiful golden sheen or one that is just this side of burnt. A taste that is too rich or salty, too chalky or dry, too raw or doughy. Or perhaps worse than all of those sins - biting into a biscuit that contains no flavor beyond the raw flour that makes up its bulk.
Lucky for me and the six other judges by my side, such shortcomings were few and far between at the 2015 Hudson Cream Flour West Virginia Biscuit Bake-Off this past Saturday in Marlinton.
We grudgingly (yeah, right!) tasted our way through 21 different traditional, sweet and savory biscuits, carefully evaluating and scoring every last one to crown winners in each category.
And winners, they were.
Marlinton's Jean McClure defended her 2014 title by claiming top honors again this year, this time for her traditional "Angel Biscuits" featuring buttermilk and good ol' fashioned lard. Man, these things were beauties - and yes, I snagged the recipe!
Among other entries, the sweet category saw a sugar-glazed biscuit, a chocolate chip "scone-like" biscuit and a fluffy blueberry biscuit battle it out for first place, with Summersville resident Goldie O'Quinn's entry picked as the berry best. Her almost cake-like creations were bursting with blueberries and hints of vanilla, lemon, honey and cinnamon in a buttermilk biscuit base.
In a hard-fought savory scuffle, a spicy pepperoni-and-cheese biscuit and McClure's gorgeous sausage, cheddar cheese and chive option were praised by all. But it was South Charleston's Homer Cobb that won over the judges - and was named the People's Choice, too - with cheesy garlic drop biscuits not unlike those gems I used to down by the basketfull at Red Lobster.
I wasn't able to get his winning savory recipe (Homer, please call me!) but I've also shared a second one from runner-up McClure. As with most homemade bakers, me included, the winners here didn't provide exact measurements in some cases. As one woman said when I asked her about that: "Oh honey, I never keep track of stuff like that."
All in all, it was great morning in Marlinton. But with nearly two dozen biscuit bites in my belly before all was said and done, I should've followed a fellow judge's lead and popped a Pepcid before we got started.
nnn
After all the flour settled around the biscuit judging table, I strolled over to the adjacent West Virginia Road Kill Cook-Off to see what tantalizing critters were being sautéed, braised, stewed and grilled to the delight - and sometimes slight horror - of festival-goers.
Although offerings have veered pretty far off the beaten path in past competitions, this year's event seemed a little more, shall we say, approachable by comparison.
As stoves were just firing up, a walk through the cooking area turned up "Un-Lucky Duck Meatball Chili," "Rockabilly Bear Butt Stew" and "Busted Tailgate BBQ Mac 'n' Cheese" from a spirited "Cheers, Deers and Mountaineers" team.
Yeah, I can do that.
But top honors eventually went to the Ridge Runners "Kill 'Em and Grill 'Em Diner," a hometown team from Marlinton. Not only did Marlinton teams sweep the contest this year, but the local Pocahontas County High School Pro-Start culinary team received the most votes for People's Choice as well.
High school kids cooking road kill. That's a far cry from the home ec classes of my youth, for sure.
Steven Keith writes a weekly food column for the Charleston Gazette-Mail. He can be reached at 304-380-6096 or by email at dailymailfoodguy@aol.com. You can also follow him on Facebook and Pinterest as "DailyMail FoodGuy," on Twitter as "DMFoodGuy" and read his blog at blogs.charlestondailymail/foodguy.
Angel Buttermilk Biscuits
5 cups self-rising Hudson Cream flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 pkg. dry yeast, dissolved in ¼ cup warm water
1 cup buttermilk
½ cup lard (or 1 stick butter)
Mix flour and baking powder in a bowl. Mix lard in by hand and work until crumbly.
Add buttermilk, put dough in pan and let rise 15 minutes.
Roll out to a half-inch thickness and cut into biscuits. Brush with butter and let rise longer.
Bake at 400 degrees for 12-15 minutes or until light golden brown on top.
Sausage, Cheddar & Chive Biscuits
4 cups self-rising Hudson Cream flour
1 roll sausage
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
4 eggs
2 Tbsp. lard
Fresh chives, chopped
Buttermilk
Fry sausage in a skillet, breaking it up as it cooks, until done. Drain and set aside.
Scramble the eggs, then cook and set aside.
Put flour and chives in a bowl. Cream the lard into the same bowl and add cooled eggs, sausage and cheese.
Roll out onto a floured board and cut into biscuits. Bake at 400 degrees for 12-15 minutes.